The world’s in a terrible state of chassis when even Davy makes sense

by Gazette Reporter
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“You’d have to feel sorry for the poor German lad,” I says to Davy when I met him on Sunday afternoon.

We’d normally meet up on a Saturday evening but we knew the pub would be bedlam with everything going on.

“Ah, yeah,” he says to me. “The poor young fella must be devastated after that but Jaysus, ye wouldn’t see it in the Phoenix Park of a Sunday morning Gaz, would ye?”

Davy used to be a goalkeeper when we played ball when we were young fellas and he still thinks he’s an authority on the subject.

Problem is, I remember him doing almost exactly that. On a Sunday morning. In the bleedin’ Phoenix Park and all, it was.

I reminded him of this and he laughs and says: “Oh yeah. But there was only about seven people watching me. There was millions watching young Caritas.”

“Karius,” I says, correcting him.

“I couldn’t carry you Gaz, the bleedin’ size of ye,” he says to me.

“Karius!” I roar at him. “The keeper’s name is ‘Karius’, not ‘Caritas’, ye bleedin’ spanner.”

“Well, whatever his name is, I still feel sorry for the lad. I’ve made plenty of mistakes in me time but fortunately not many people have seen them.”

He’s not wrong there. I’ve seen Davy get up to all sorts but he had a point – imagine making two massive mistakes like that with the whole world watching?

“I suppose yer man Klopp will get rid of him now,” I says.

“Probably,” says Davy. “But you never know. He could save the winning peno in the shootout in next season’s final and be the hero. And sure, doesn’t everybody love an auld redemption story?”

I’m not used to Davy making this much sense with consecutive sentences.

“I suppose you’re right,” I says to him. “Still though, yesterday was an interesting day all round, wasn’t it?”

“Ah it was,” he says. “The country’s all changed now from when we were young fellas.”

“It has indeed,” I nodded. “And that may be no bad thing, really.”

“Ah yeah,” he says.

“So did you vote ‘Yes’ in the end then?” I ask him.

“I did, yeah,” he says. “I’m not sure I agree with it all, but after what the daughter told me and everything, I figured I had to vote Yes.

“I may be a bit uneasy with it all but sure I’m never gonna have to go through with it and I suppose they all have their reasons for doing it.”

Three sensible statements in a row. A new Davy record!

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