Gift of the Gaz: ‘Vote for Gaz, I do a great wave and I won’t embarrass the nation’

by Gazette Reporter

If I wasn’t so fond of the Miggledy fella, I’d consider launching a bid for President meself.

Looking at some of the loolas going for it this year, I reckon I’d stand half a chance just by not being a total attention seeker.

Maybe to stand out, I’d get a cat instead of having two dogs but other than that I’d just run me campaign saying: “Vote for Gaz, I do a great wave and I won’t embarrass the nation by sayin’ something ridiculous on the world stage.”

I see some of the prospective candidates were up in front of Meath County Council this week trying to get nominated.

They have to get four councils to nominate them but from this performance, I can’t see them having too much joy.

One of the Dragon’s Den fellas was making all sorts of promises and even brought a glossy brochure with him.

He’s possibly not the worst of them, but we only have to take a look across the water at the fella that sends angry tweets in all capitals to see that maybe electing a businessman as President may not be the best idea.

He even said to the councillors: “It’s a role with no power but lots of influence.”
You’d wonder if he’s doing it for the good of the people or the good of himself with a line like that.

Some other fella said he’d like to bring the Luas to Connemara. Remember when Dustin the Turkey used to pretend to run for election and he’d promise to bring the Dart to Dingle?
That puppet has a lot to answer for it seems.

That artist lad was giving out about Aldis and Lidls on roundabouts or something like that.
And afterwards he was banging on about having red-headed girls playing harps in every town in the country or something like that.

He reckon it’s just like the old days but I think he might have watched Darby O’Gill a few too many times.

There was a young woman up too saying she was pro-life and wants to save the unborn babies. I’m not sure what she thinks she’s campaigning for. I thought that referendum was a few months ago.

She’s some sort of Marilyn Monroe tribute act as well and said she’d greet the Trump fella dressed as Marilyn. “If the Irish people wanted me to do that, I would,” she says.

Now, I’d normally never speak for anyone but meself, but I’m fairly certain that I’d speak for a fair portion of the Irish people by saying that we never want to see that or any of this other carry on.

You’d nearly miss Dana with the carry on of this lot.

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